Paris Hilton? Eat your heart out!!
According to the always-legitimate news source, TMZ, Lindsay's felony grand theft case will now be assigned to Judge Stephanie Sautner - who's considered a tough but fair judge - and the preliminary hearing is set for April 22.
The bad news? Lohan faces both jail and prison as the case moves on - jail, if Judge Sautner decides Lindsay violated her probation, and prison, if Lindsay is convicted of grand theft.
The good news? If Lindsay is found innocent at trial and if Judge Sautner agrees NOT to rule on the probation violation until a verdict is reached in the grand theft case, Lindsay could get off scot-free.
Let's face it. What would life be without Lindsay roaming the streets with her mean case of sticky-finger syndrome? And I'm dying to see the courtroom couture! Fasten your seatbelts, looky-loos. April isn't looking so bad after all...